


that's when I knew

by brilliantbanshee



Series: Tarlos Week 2020 [3]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Hurt Carlos, Love Confessions, M/M, Mya is back bitches!, Worried TK Strand, even though they may not be the best at saying it, they just love each other so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26730673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantbanshee/pseuds/brilliantbanshee
Summary: 5 times they almost said I love you, and 1 time they finally did.--Tarlos Week Day 3: First Love Confession
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: Tarlos Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942255
Comments: 20
Kudos: 174
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star ▶ Carlos Reyes / Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand





	that's when I knew

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a little fluff for you all on this fine Wednesday (we'll get back to the angst shortly)
> 
> Title from "Hard Wired" by Shakey Graves (again)
> 
> Also, shoutout to [Jamie](https://officerrxyes.tumblr.com/) and [lifeonashell](https://lifeonashell.tumblr.com/) for reading this through for me when I was really unsure about it. You're both real MVPs.
> 
> Also as I was writing this I realized a couple of parts were definitely inspired by some things I have read from [Bellakitse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellakitse/pseuds/Bellakitse), and Stef deserves all the credit for those ideas so you should read her work if you haven't already.

1

It had been a long day. TK could feel it weighing on him, wearing in him - the fatigue sinking right into his bones. Firefighting had always been an active, energy-consuming profession and TK was no stranger to the bone-deep exhaustion that followed some days. But today he was supposed to head over to Carlos’s and they were supposed to go out. They were supposed to meet with some of Carlos’s friends that Carlos wanted TK to meet. It was important to him and TK was determined to not disappoint him. 

He arrives at Carlos’s house shortly after wrapping up his shift and covers a yawn as he walks up to the front door. He lets himself in and walks through the house until he finds Carlos in the bedroom, still in the process of getting ready. 

“Hey you,” he says from the doorway, leaning against the doorframe and admiring the view. Carlos turns around quickly, expression shifting from surprise to pleasure when he catches view of TK. 

“Hey yourself,” he says as he crosses the room to give him a kiss. He pulls away and chuckles, “I didn’t hear you come in.” 

“What great observational skills you have, Officer,” TK quipped, flashing Carlos a cocky grin in response to the exasperated look thrown his way. 

“Maybe I’d be more observant if I didn’t have to spend so much time figuring out what to wear to kind of look like I belong with this ridiculously handsome boyfriend I have.” 

“So you’re saying it’s my fault for being too good looking?” he shot back, tone still teasing even as a blush rose up his face. 

“Yes, exactly. All your fault.” 

“That’s sweet, but also false. Anyone with eyes can see that you are clearly the better looking one in this relationship.” 

“Now who’s making jokes?” 

TK was about to fire back some other teasing comment about Carlos’s good looks (really, did the other man own a mirror?) when his words were stolen by a deep yawn that slipped past TK’s defenses. Carlos looked up from his dresser to see a guilty look on TK’s face. 

“Sorry,” he said quickly, “it was a really long shift.” 

Carlos placed down the shirt he had just gathered from his dresser and crossed closer to TK again. He frowned as he drew closer, examining TK as he walked. 

“You look tired,” he noted, “are you sure you want to go out tonight?” 

“I can make it,” TK promised, “I’ll be fine.” 

“That’s not what I asked TK - are you sure you want to go tonight? We could stay in instead, just hang out.” 

“You made plans,” TK objected, pushing himself off of the doorway with some effort, “you wanted me to meet your friends. We don’t need to ruin everyone’s evening just because I am a little tired.”

“You look like you’re going to fall over TK.” 

“Then I guess you’re just going to have to keep your arm around me, keep me upright.” 

Carlos ignored his very logical reasoning and stepped closer, examining him. “You look awful,” he noted, “did you get any sleep at all?” 

“Weren’t you just talking about how handsome I was?” A pointed look from Carlos made him sigh as he answered the question, “not really. Maybe an hour all together; it was a busy night for calls. Every time we got back the alarms went off again, most of the time before we even managed to get back to our bunks.” 

Carlos didn’t say a word, just put down the shirt he was still holding and pulled out his phone. He shot off a text before reaching for TK’s shoulders and steering him towards the bed. 

“We are not going anywhere and you are going to bed.”

“What about your friends?” TK asked as Carlos returned to the dresser and pulled out a pair of sweats. 

“I told them you had a rough shift and we needed to reschedule. There is no way I am going to drag you out with no sleep, I don’t care who we’re meeting.”

“But…” 

“No buts,” Carlos cut across his weak protestations as he handed him the sweats he had just grabbed. “You are in no state to go out, and even if you weren’t about to fall over, there is no way you’d enjoy yourself like this. You don’t need to push yourself like this for me TK - I’m happy as long as I get to spend time with you.” 

TK looked down at the sweats in his hand and then back up at Carlos, “Fine, but there is no way I’m going to lay in your bed alone on date night.” 

“Way ahead of you,” Carlos agreed as he pulled out another pair of sweats for himself. He made quick work of changing and joined TK in the bed, laying behind him and wrapping his arms around his body and pulling him tightly against himself. TK savored the closeness, the simple intimacy of it. He relaxed in Carlos’s embrace and allowed the tension to leave his body. The exhaustion he had been holding at bay drew closer, ready to overtake him. 

“I can’t believe you’d rather go to bed with me at 8 like an old man than go out with your friends,” Tk sleepily observed. 

He felt the vibrations of a chuckle on his back as Carlos responded, “don’t tell anyone, but I think I like you better. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.” 

A warmth spread through TK; a kind of contentment he had never felt with another person. He felt wanted in a way he never had before - in a way that went far beyond the physical desires. 

“Good Night, Carlos,” he breathed out before sleep claimed him. His voice was soft from emotion and exhaustion, but he hoped that somehow Carlos could hear the sentiments hidden in those three words. They were the wrong three words, but they were the only ones he had right now. He hoped that they were enough. 

2

  
  


“What are you doing?” 

Carlos’s voice from the doorway startled TK, causing the phone he had been speaking into to fall from his hand onto the bed. “Nothing,” he said quickly. Carlos’s eyebrows shot up. 

TK sighed and fished his phone out from the tangle of blankets it had fallen into and handed it to Carlos with a cringe. 

Carlos took the phone with a hesitant expression, and his eyebrows rose even further when he saw which app was open. He moved his gaze from the phone to meet TK’s with an unreadable expression. 

“Are you...duolingoing Spanish?” 

“Yes?” TK answered sheepishly. 

Carlos sat down on the bed next to him, “Why?” 

TK shrugged, “I mean, I know your family speaks English but you’ve mentioned that they like to use Spanish from time to time, and I just thought it would be nice. To know what was going on, to not have them have to stick to English because of me. I know this won’t make me fluent or anything, but maybe just enough to get the basics.” 

Carlos was silent for a few moments and TK looked at him nervously, “You’re not mad, are you?” 

That got a reaction out of him, “What? No! Why would I be mad?” 

TK shrugged, “because I kept this from you? Because I am likely going to butcher your families’ native language? Because it maybe perpetuates some stereotype?” 

Carlos just blinked. “You know none of those are true, right?” he said after a moment. 

TK sighed, “I just...don't want to screw this up.” 

Carlos scoffed, “Please - my mother is going to love you regardless. So will my aunts - they can’t resist a pretty face. The rest of them will just like you because you’re you, and if that wasn’t enough the fact that I like you enough to bring you around will change their minds. You don’t need to do this Ty - you’re plenty just as you are.” 

The smile TK gave him was small, but it held all the warmth of the sun, “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” 

Carlos chuckled as he handed him back his phone, “Careful - they might think you’re trying too hard,” he said in a teasing tone. 

“Maybe I am,” TK said with a shrug, “but you’re worth it.” 

“Even with the demonic owl?” 

TK nodded, “Listening to him is worth it if I can make you smile.” 

Carlos’s heart swelled. He leaned over to plant a kiss on TK’s cheek. “That’s high praise, I’m flattered.” 

“You should be. I wouldn’t do this for just anyone you know.” 

The words were light and teasing, but the unsaid words were there - plain as day in the space between them. 

_ But you’re not just anyone. _

They locked eyes and the sentiment traveled between them. They both knew it, both could fill in the blanks. They both knew what it was TK was not saying, what he wasn’t ready to say yet. Carlos swallowed and nodded, heart skipping a beat when TK smiled at him. 

He leaned forward and captured that smile with his own, drawing him into a kiss. On the bed between them, a little green owl popped up to wave through the phone screen, but they both ignored it. They were too lost in each other; the rest for the world a distant memory. 

3

TK glances at the clock for the fourth time in as many minutes. He is barely paying attention to the dish he is drying, placing it down without looking. Somewhere between the splash and Marjan’s surprised yelp, he looks up. 

Marjan is giving him an unimpressed look as she pulls the previously dry dish out of the suds-filled sink. “Where is your head at dude?” she asks as she passes it back to him for another round with the dishtowel. He accepts it sheepishly. 

“Sorry,” he says lowly, “I was just thinking about my dad’s appointment.” 

Understanding dawns on Marjan’s face, “He has chemo today.” 

TK nods, “and it’s the first one I haven’t been able to go to.” He dries the dish and places it carefully on the counter before setting down the towel and leaning forward on the counter, bracing himself on the edge. 

“I just hate thinking of him there alone.” 

Marjan reached forward to shut off the faucet and set down the sponge before turning to face him. “He knows you would be there if you could,” she says soothingly, “and he’ll call if there is a problem. Your dad is made of pretty tough stuff, he’ll be fine.” 

TK ran an agitated hand through his hair, “I know he can do it on his own, but he shouldn’t have too. He spent all those weeks doing it by himself before he told me about the cancer, and I don’t want him to have to go back to that.” 

Marjan nods sympathetically. “I hear you, but not being able to make one appointment does not mean he is in this alone, TK. He has you, and he has us. Besides,” she notes as she turns back to the sink, “I think the fact that you’re obsessing over it is a pretty good indicator that you want to be there for him. He’s not alone.” 

TK sighed again before straightening up, “I know you're right but it still sucks.” 

She offered him a sympathetic smile as she passed him the next dish to dry and they continued their work in companionable silence. The last few hours of their shift seemed to drag by and the moment the relief shift arrived TK was out the door like a shot. 

He pulled up to their home in impressive time and was about to call out for his dad when he noticed a figure on the couch. 

“Carlos?” he asked as he set down his keys, “what are you doing here? I thought we weren’t meeting until later?” 

Carlos looked up from the magazine he had been reading on the couch, a bright smile spreading across his face at the sound of TK’s voice. “We were,” he confirmed, “but I wasn’t here to see you. Not that I don’t want to see you,” he added hastily, “hi - how was work?” 

TK rolled his eyes but his smile betrayed his amusement as he crossed to the couch, leaning over the back to give his boyfriend a kiss: “Nice save. Work was fine, have you seen my dad?”

Carlos nodded, “he’s asleep, the chemo session took a lot out of him today.”

TK nodded solemnly. He was about to announce his intention to go check on his father when he suddenly realized that the pieces didn’t quite click. 

“Wait,” he said slowly, “why would you come to see my dad today? You knew he had an appointment…” he trailed off and Carlos smiled sheepishly. 

“I knew how worried you were about him going alone and I had the afternoon off, so I went. He was surprised, but I think he appreciated the company.”

TK was giving him a strange look so he stopped and frowned, “Was that not okay? He didn’t seem to mind…” 

“No,” TK said quickly, “no, it’s fine. It’s more than fine actually, I just...you spent your afternoon off sitting with my dad at his chemo appointment?” 

Carlos shrugged, “I like your dad. Besides, it was important to you so it’s important to me.” 

There was silence then as Carlos looked at TK curiously, not sure what to expect. TK for his part was staring at Carlos as if seeing him in a new light. Carlos was just about to ask what was wrong when TK leaned down again, placing a deep, lingering kiss on his lips. When he pulled back, his eyes glimmered with unshed tears. 

“Thank you, Carlos,” he said, voice low and sincere. Carlos smiled at him - that wonderful thousand-volt smile that stole TK’s breath each and every time, but TK was still stuck on this moment, on what Carlos had done; on how much it meant. Yet again he finds himself without the right words. Thank you just didn’t seem like enough; it wasn’t enough to convey the depth of what he was feeling for the other man. But once again, they were the only words he had. 

Besides, he meant those words from the bottom of his heart. 

4

It’s late and the sticky Texas day has slid into a cool, comfortable night. They’re walking along a street talking about nothing in particular as the conversations of other pedestrians and the music spilling out of bars washes around them, filling the night air with a sense of life.

They get to a corner and TK pauses, looking up at the night sky above them. A smile graces his face as he looks up at the cosmos. “You never quite got to see the stars like this in New York,” he said easily, “I don’t think I’ll ever get over how many of them there are.” 

Carlos joins him in staring up at the sky, “It is quite a sight, isn’t it?” TK hums his agreement and leans closer to him, resting his head on Carlos’s shoulder as he gazes up at the sky. “I do still miss New York sometimes,” he admits, “but then something reminds me how lucky I am to get to experience somewhere new.” 

“Is the night sky one of those things?” 

“It is. It’s not the main one though.” 

“And what would that be?” 

“A certain officer of the law.” 

“Mya? I’ll have to tell her, she’ll be thrilled.” 

TK let out a bark of laughter and reached around to lightly swat at Carlos with the hand that was not intertwined with his own. “Yes, it’s Mya. I just can’t get her out of my head.” 

“I knew it.” 

“I’m trying to be serious here Carlos, do you have to ruin the moment?” 

Carlos chuckled and leaned down to kiss the top of TK’s head. “If it means anything,” he admitted softly, “I’ve come to like Austin a lot more too since you showed up.” 

“It does,” TK said softly. 

They stand there in silence, staring up at the night sky for several minutes and Carlos is struck by how lucky he is. He is struck by how much he loves this man, but it’s too soon to say it. He settles on saying nothing at all - if he speaks at all he is going to say it and break this spell that they are under. 

Those words are right on the surface though, and he knows it will only be a matter of time. 

5

TK’s phone rings. He picks it up to see Mya’s name on the screen. He excuses himself and steps to a secluded, quieter corner of the bar before answering. 

“Hey Mya,” he says cheerfully as the call connects, “what’s up?” 

“TK? Something’s happened.” 

The fear in Mya’s voice sucks all the air from TK’s lungs. He can feel his knees go weak so he leans against the wall. 

“What happened? Is Carlos…” he trails off, because he’s not sure what to ask. He’s not sure what to hope for; he’s not sure what to dread. 

“There was an accident. He had just gone to get us coffee on our break and was walking back to the car when someone hit him. He was taken to the hospital...but I don’t know anymore than that. We’re just waiting for news now.”

Her voice was low and sounded so unlike her. If the image of Carlos being struck by a car as he walked playing on repeat in his brain without his consent hadn’t driven the gravity of the situation home, her voice would have. 

He took a deep breath. He forced himself to stand upright, to pull himself off the wall. “I’m on my way,” he told her. “I’ll be there soon. I…” but he didn’t know what else to say. What words were there to express the fear he was feeling right now? 

“I’ll be there soon,” he repeated, and hung up the phone. He turned, mind whirring with plans and implications only to be met with Paul standing beside him, expression furrowed. 

“What’s wrong?” his friend asked before TK could even so much as breathe. 

TK didn’t even bother to wonder how he knew there was something wrong, he didn’t even stop to consider why Paul may have followed him into the corner. “Carlos was in an accident, I need to get to the hospital.” 

He started to head toward the door, but paused. He had come with his dad, he didn’t have a car here. He needed to tell him, he needed to make sure his dad had a ride home, he needed to…

Paul put a firm hand on his shoulder, pulling his attention back to the now. “Take a breath,” he said gently, “I can practically hear your mind freaking out. I’ll take you.” 

TK gestured vaguely towards the bar where the rest of the crew and his dad were, “What about…?” 

“I’ll call them on the way. It’s going to be fine,” Paul assured him as he steered him towards the door. 

“What if it’s not?” he didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to think it; but it was there and it was real. It was a possibility. 

“Then we’ll handle that too,” Paul promised him, “but let’s not start borrowing trouble now. Give your man a chance to surprise you first - he’s tougher than you might think.” 

TK shook his head as the car started and they pulled away from the bar, “Tough doesn’t mean invincible.” 

Paul gave him a sympathetic look but TK stared resolutely out the window. He appreciated his friend for coming with him, for driving him, but he couldn’t handle platitudes right now. 

They continue the ride in silence, TK desperately trying to remember the last thing he said to Carlos. He couldn’t remember. It was something so inconsequential that he couldn’t remember it. Carlos had to survive this because whatever it was couldn’t be the last thing he said. 

They couldn’t end like this. 

Eventually they arrived and TK rushed to the ER waiting room, roving eyes seeking out Mya in the crowd. He found her speaking with a doctor in the corner and his heart plummeted. Only Paul’s steady hand on his shoulder kept him upright; only his gentle shove propelled him forward. 

He approached, walking slowly and deliberately; holding his breath the entire time. He reached Mya and laid a gentle questioning hand on her arm. She turned to face him; brown eyes wet with tears but a beaming smile on his face. 

“He’s going to be okay,” she announced and TK suddenly felt 30 pounds lighter. He gave a slightly manic laugh and pulled Mya into a bone crushing hug that she happily returned. Paul appeared at his side and TK repeated the news, savoring the way the words felt on his tongue: “He’s going to be okay.” 

There is a hug from Paul too and phone calls to make and more waiting before a nurse appears, informing them that Carlos is in recovery now and they can come back one at a time. TK glances between the other two who share an indignant look before pushing him out of his seat and towards the nurse. He turns to thank them with a wave and a smile, and then he is gone - halfway down the hall that will lead him to Carlos. 

He is still grinning when they reach the room, and he offers the nurse a smile of thanks as she leaves. His good humor is gone though the moment he steps in the door. Carlos is still and silent in the bed; most of him covered in either bruises or bandages. The images playing in his head earlier return and TK crosses the room on shaking legs. 

He reaches the side of the bed and takes it all in; the stitches and bruising, the bandages and the cast. He takes a deep, shuddering breath and forces himself to relax. Carlos is alive and that is all that matters. They’ll handle anything else that comes after that. 

He stands there in the quiet, drinking in the sight of Carlos’s chest rising and falling as he takes in air until slowly, his eyes blink open. 

He squints in the dim light of the room and TK leans in closer. 

“Carlos?” he asks gently, “are you with me?” 

“Ty?” Carlos asks, voice raspy, “that you?” 

“Yeah sweetheart, it’s me. How are you feeling?” 

Carlos considers this for a moment, “Like I got hit by a bus.” 

And despite everything, TK has to stifle a laugh, “Close,” he admits, “but not quite. Is there anything I can do? Anything you need? Should I get a nurse?” 

“No,” Carlos says, voice stronger this time, “no, I’ll be fine. Just, sit here with me?” 

TK lifts up the hand he’s been holding and brushes his lips against the knuckles, “there’s nowhere I’d rather be.” 

There will time later, he thinks as Carlos drifts back to a peaceful sleep. There will be time to talk this through more, to tell Carlos how scared he was; to tell him that he couldn’t lose him. 

There some other things that needed to be said too - things he had been putting off for far too long (though he had known for quite some time). 

But for now he would let Carlos sleep; he would drink in the sight of him breathing. For now he could put it off, just a little longer. 

They would still be true, no matter how long he waited. 

+1

It’s just a Thursday. 

They had just arrived home from a double date with Grace and Judd and had fallen onto the couch, pleasantly full and tired. Carlos snuggled closer to him and TK smiled softly, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders and pulling him even closer. 

They sat intertwined in the silence for some time before TK spoke, “Hey, Carlos?” 

“Yeah?” he asked. 

“I love you.” 

There was no commotion in the wake of his words; no grand gestures or great exclamations. Carlos simply smiled and leaned over to place a light kiss on TK’s cheek.

“That’s good,” he said, “because I love you too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://brilliantbanshee.tumblr.com/)


End file.
